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The Top 20 Showbiz Stories in 2018

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1.  Roseanne's Self-Destruction:  The "Roseanne" revival was an immediate success when it debuted in March, and it was renewed for another season just three days after the first episode.

 

 

But everything changed in May, when Roseanne Barr sent out a RACIST Tweet about former Obama administration official Valerie Jarrett.  It only took a few hours for ABC to cancel the show.

 

 

Roseanne apologized, denied being racist, and blamed her "stupid" mistake on late-night "Ambien-Tweeting."

 

 

But Roseanne either didn't 'get' how the Tweet was racist or didn't care, because she spent the next few months going backand forth on her apology . . . and issuing an endless stream of excuses that 'explained' the Tweet.

 

 

She said she was attacking Jarrett over the Obama Iran deal, which she hates.  And in a YouTube video she screamed, quote, "I thought the [B-word] was white!  [Gosh darn] it, I thought the [B-word] was white!  [Eff]!"

 

 

Roseanne ultimately accepted her fate, and allowed ABC to continue the show WITHOUT HER.  They renamed it "The Conners", and killed off Roseanne with an opioid overdose.

 

 

It premiered in October, and the ratings weren't too far off from where "Roseanne" left off . . . but it definitely lacked the buzz that Roseanne brought to the show.  But it did well enough that negotiations are underway for another season.

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

2.  Celebrity Suicides

 

 

Anthony Bourdain hung himself in his hotel room in France on June 8th.  He was only 61.

 

 

Some people tried to blame his girlfriend Asia Argento, because photos of her with another guy had just surfaced.  But Asia suggested they had an open relationship and cheated on each other, and were both cool with it.

 

 

There's one more odd wrinkle to the story.  In November of 2017, Asia paid a $380,000 settlement to a man who claimed she sexually assaulted him several years earlier, when he was 17.

 

 

When the news came out in August of this year, Asia denied they'd had sex.  But she said it was Anthony's idea to settle the matter quietly.  He also reportedly put up the money.

 

 

Bourdain wasn't the only famous person to die by suicide this year. 

 

 

. . . In January, Mark Salling from "Glee" took his own life by hanging himself from a tree in a park.  He was due to be sentenced on child pornography charges.  He was 35.

 

 

. . . In April, Verne "Mini-Me" Troyer succumbed to his demons at the much-too-young age of 49.  He drank himself to death.

 

 

. . . And "Superman" actress Margot Kidder committed suicide with drugs and alcohol on May 13th.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

3.  Cosby Goes to Prison:  They finally got Bill Cosby.  In September, he was sentenced to 3 to 10 years in prison for sexual assault, and he was led away in handcuffs to begin serving his time immediately.  Cosby is 81 years old.  

 

 

The judge labeled him a "violent sexual predator."  Before he was led away, the judge also said, quote, "It is time for justice.  Mr. Cosby, this has all circled back to you.  The time has come."

 

 

And according to the tabloids, less than a day into his prison sentence, he was ASSAULTED by another inmate.  According to the not-always-reliable Radar Online, someone threw a STALE HOT DOG BUN at him.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

4.  Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez, and Heather Locklear Face Their Demons:  Unfortunately, 2018 was difficult mentally for a few celebrities.  In July, Demi Lovato overdosed.  It happened just a month after she released a song called "Sober", where she admitted falling off the wagon.  She went to rehab in August.

 

 

In September, Selena Gomez said she reached out to Demi privately after her overdose.  But she has her own issues.  In October, she was being treated at a mental facility after suffering an "emotional breakdown."

 

 

And in February, Heather Locklear was arrested for domestic battery after a fight with her boyfriend.  She also fought with police.  She's been in and out of hospitals, psych holds, and rehabs all year, and at times she's been suicidal

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

5.  Controversial Holiday Classics:  2018 also became the year when political correctness started taking down HOLIDAY CLASSICS that have been fine for decades.

 

 

After "A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving" aired in November, people called it RACIST, because Franklin, the black character, sits by himself on one side of the dinner table, and on a broken chair.

 

 

Then there was the huge blow-up over "Baby It's Cold Outside", when radio stations abruptly yanked it from their rotations over its alleged sexual harassment vibe.  It might not have aged well, but it seemingly went from mildly questionable to massively offensive overnight.

 

 

Then, some people went after "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer", although it seemed to be in a more playful way.

 

 

And in the middle of this, there were the racist accusations made against the Christian children's show "Veggie Tales".  It isn't holiday related, but it came to mind because it happened while all this other nonsense was going down.

 

 

 

 

 

"B.I.C.O." Trivia:  In the 1949 movie that earned "Baby It's Cold Outside" an Oscar, the second half of the song is sung with the woman chasing the man instead.  The actress who sings that part is Betty Garrett.   You knew her as Edna Babish on "Laverne & Shirley" . . . the landlady who marries Laverne's dad.

 

 

(Skip to 2:28 in the movie version of the song.  And here's Edna singing about gin on the show.)

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

6.  Things Got Stormy for President Trump

 

 

2018 has been a "stormy" year for President Trump . . . as in Stormy DANIELS

 

 

In January, the "Wall Street Journal" reported that Trump had sex with her in 2006, a year after he married Melania.  And in 2016, his attorney Michael Cohen had arranged a $130,000 hush money payment.

 

 

Trump denied the sex, but Stormy started talking . . . while working to get the non-disclosure agreement nullified. 

 

 

Over the course of the year, she claimed that Trump was a mediocre lover who didn't last long . . . that he had a small, mushroom-like wiener . . . and that she spanked him with a copy of "Forbes" magazine that HE was on the cover of.

 

 

She also sued Trump for defamation over one of his Tweets.  That case ended up being dismissed, with Stormy ordered to pay Trump $293,000 in legal fees.

 

 

Meanwhile, former "Playboy" Playmate Karen McDougal came forward claiming she ALSO had an affair with Trump around the same time as Stormy.

 

 

Unfortunately for Trump, his "fixer" Michael Cohen rolled on him.  Last week he pleaded guilty to a bunch of criminal conduct, much of it involving the president, and talked about what HELL it was to do his dirty work all these years. 

 

 

Even though he's cooperating, Cohen still got three years in prison.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

7.  Kanye West Goes Full MAGA, Then Backs Off:  Back in April, Kanye West found a new friend, when he started Tweeting about how much he loved President Trump.

 

 

While he said he didn't agree with Trump on everything, he called him his brother, said they both have "dragon energy," and posted a picture of his autographed Make America Great Again hat.  He also said he had found his way out of the "sunken place."

 

 

About a week later, he went on "TMZ Live" and made his infamous comments about slavery being a "choice".

 

 

A month after that, Kim Kardashian visited the White House to talk to Trump about prison reform . . . and she convinced Trump to pardon a woman who'd been behind bars for 21 years on a nonviolent drug offense.

 

 

Fast forward to October, and Kanye's unhinged Oval Office meeting with Trump . . . where he called his MAGA hat a "Superman cape," showed Trump what he claimed was a prototype for a hydrogen-powered plane called the "iPlane One" . . .

 

 

And inadvertently revealed that his phone password was SIX ZEROES.

 

 

Kanye stuck to his guns, despite criticism from just about the entire rap community . . . and a lot of other celebrities.

 

 

But by the end of the month, he'd had enough.  He Tweeted, quote, "My eyes are now wide open and now realize I've been used to spread messages I don't believe in.  I am distancing myself from politics and completely focusing on being creative!!!"

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

8.  The #MeToo Movement Hit Three Unexpected Celebrities:  After the #MeToo bloodbath of 2017, it's hard to be surprised by sexual misconduct allegations against ANYONE.  Still, 2018 brought accusations against three people you'd never peg.

 

 

In January, a woman accused AZIZ ANSARI of sexual abuse at his apartment after a date.  While they didn't have intercourse, she said she spent the night fending off his aggressive advances, and did give in and perform orally on him twice.

 

 

Aziz did have a text exchange with the woman the next day, where he apologized and said he, quote, "I misread things in the moment."  But he was pretty much MIA for 2018 until he started showing up at comedy clubs a few months ago.

 

 

In June, an ex-girlfriend of "Talking Dead" host CHRIS HARDWICK accused him of physical and emotional abuse.  But he didn't lose any gigs over it. 

 

 

AMC did investigate, but the woman didn't participate, saying it was never her intention to ruin his life.

 

 

Then, just a few weeks ago, Neil deGrasse Tyson . . . one of the smartest and most likeable people in America . . . got hit with three allegations, including rape.

 

 

He issued a statement on Facebook, denying each accusation in detail.  The matter is currently being investigated by the producers of his show "Cosmos", and the two channels it airs on:  Fox and National Geographic.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

9.  The Ballad of Ariana and Pete:  If there are two people we talked about way too much this year, those two people were Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande.  But that's our cross to bear as a nation.

 

 

The events were set in motion back in May, when Ariana broke up with her longtime boyfriend Mac Miller, and almost immediately started dating Pete.  Within a few weeks they were already engaged and getting couples tattoos.

 

 

They were ridiculously public with their relationship.  Ariana even defended Pete's "butthole eyes".

 

 

But then, in early September, Mac died of an overdose, and that sent her into a tailspin.  Even though she and Pete made the very mature decision to buy a pig together, she was obviously knocked for a loop by Mac's death.

 

 

A month later, our long national nightmare was over, when Pete and Ariana broke up.  There was some brief sniping, but they quickly called a truce.  She even said she was THANKFUL for him in her song "Thank U, Next".

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

10.  Other Relationship News:  One whirlwind relationship that DID make it to the altar was that of Justin Bieber and Hailey Baldwin.  They had a quickie courthouse ceremony in September.

 

 

John Stamos let a woman named Caitlin McHugh tie him down in February.  Sometime between then and April, they had a baby boy.  Do the math.

 

 

Amy Schumer got married, and promised her new husband the oral favors wouldn't dry up.  She's pregnant now. 

 

 

And Nick Jonas and Priyanka Chopra finished off the year with a lavish wedding in India.

 

 

Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux announced their SPLIT in February.  They were married a little over two years.  But Jennifer still called this, and her previous failed marriage, quote, "very successful."

 

 

And Khloe Kardashian got cheated on by ANOTHER NBA star.  The good news is, she wasn't married to him this time.  The bad news?  She WAS carrying his baby. 

 

 

There's no word how many mistresses Tristan Thompson had, but they welcomed their daughter True in April, and last anyone knew, they're still together.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

11.  Baby Biz:  Brigitte Nielsen wasn't the most famous person to pop out a kid this year, but she was certainly the OLDEST, at 54.  This was years in the making though.  She froze her eggs when she was 40.

 

 

On November 30th, 57-year-old Eddie Murphy and his 39-year-old fiancée Paige Butcher welcomed a baby boy.  It's his second child with Butcher, and TENTH overall . . . with five different women.

 

 

On a similar note, Owen Wilson now has three kids with three different women.

 

 

Also having babies this year:  Khloe Kardashian . . . Kim and Kanye . . . Kylie Jenner . . . Daniel Craig and Rachel Weisz . . . Norman Reedus and Diane Kruger . . .

 

 

Kate Uptonand Justin Verlander . . . Kirsten Dunst . . . Chip and Joanna Gaines . . . Eva Longoria . . . and Cardi B, who has since broken up with her husband and baby-daddy Offset.

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

12.  The Bieber Burrito Incident:  Another viral story was the one where Justin Bieber was supposedly caught eating a burrito sideways, like corn on the cob, instead of holding it the long way and biting into the end.

 

 

But we were TRICKED.  And it wasn't actually Justin.  The whole thing was concocted by the guys at a YouTube channel, just to see if they could make it go viral.  Obviously, it worked.

 

 

 

 


 

 

13.  Who Bit Beyoncé?  Back in March, Tiffany Haddish claimed she was at a party and witnessed an unnamed actress BITING Beyoncé on the FACE.

 

 

Tiffany said the actress was on something . . . and Beyoncé wasn't hurt . . . but she was mad.  She said she had a couple run-ins with the actress that night and almost, quote, "beat her ass."

 

 

For months she refused to say who the actress was.

 

 

Then in June, Tiffany confirmed rumors that it was Sanaa Lathan.  She sounds serious about what went down, but Sanaa has denied it, and Beyoncé has never commented, so it's unclear what exactly happened.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

14.  Marky Mark's Crazy Schedule:  One of the more surprising viral stores of the year came in September, when Mark Wahlberg shared his "typical daily schedule" on Instagram, and it's intense.

 

 

It includes a 2:30 A.M. wake-up call . . . two workouts, two showers . . . cryo chamber recovery . . . prayer time . . . and a 7:30 P.M. bedtime, which means he doesn't even make it to primetime TV.

 

 

People had a lot of fun with it online.  One guy even tried to pull off the schedule himself . . . for just one day . . . and he said it "broke him."

 

 

 

 


 

 

15.  Pay-Per-View Golf?  TV golf actually got mildly interesting this year, when Tiger Woods and Phil Mickelson announced a head-to-head $9 million winner-take-all "death match," with six-figure side bets that would come out of their pockets and be donated to charity.

 

 

The event was supposed to be broadcast on pay-per-view . . . but there was a technical glitch with the feed, so it ended up being free for a lot of people.

 

 

In the end, Phil edged Tiger, but it took four playoff holes.  Phil lost a $200,000 side-bet he made on the first hole.  But after that, it was all Phil.  He went three-for-three on 'closest to the pin' side-bets, which meant Tiger shelled out $600,000 to his charity.

 

 

 

 


 

 

16.  The Year in Sports Championships:  2018's sports championships began with the "underdog" Philadelphia Eaglesupsetting the New England Patriots to win the Super Bowl 41 to 33.  Philly fans went INSANE . . . and one of them even ateHORSE POO.

 

 

It was so bad for the Patriots that Rob Gronkowski's home was robbed WHILE he was scoring a touchdown in the third quarter.

 

 

The Washington Capitals beat the Vegas Golden Knights to take the Stanley Cup, four games to one.  It's the first championship in the Caps' 44-year history.  

 

 

If the Golden Knights had won, they'd have been the first expansion team in HISTORY to win a championship in their first year.

 

 

Then, the Golden State Warriors swept the Cleveland Cavaliers to earn their third title in four years.  After the game, LeBron James said he played with a broken hand.

 

 

A few weeks later, LeBron left Cleveland, again, this time to join the L.A. Lakers.

 

 

In October, the Boston Red Sox won the World Series in five games, knocking off the L.A. Dodgers, whose only win came in that crazy 18-inning game.

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

17.  Sequels, Prequels, Reboots, and Revivals:  Movie and TV executives have been obsessed with sequels, prequels, reboots, and revivals for years now . . . but it hit a fever pitch in 2018.  Here's a brief rundown of some of the UNORIGINAL ideas announced this year.

 

 

The SEQUELS include:  Another "Gladiator" movie, a third "Bill & Ted" movie, "Rush Hour 4", "Bad Boys 3", another "Legally Blonde" movie, the "Top Gun" sequel, "NYPD Blue", and LeBron James' "Space Jam" sequel.

 

 

The REMAKES include:  "Indecent Proposal", "Grumpy Old Men", and "West Side Story".

 

 

The REBOOTS include:  "9 to 5", "Shrek", "Charlie's Angels", "Magnum P.I.", "Cagney and Lacey", "Blue's Clues", "Deal or No Deal", "The Hills" "Temptation Island", "Bewitched", "Daria", "The Chronicles of Narnia", "Celebrity Deathmatch", and "Designing Women".

 

 

The REVIVALS include:  "Last Man Standing", "Charmed", "Northern Exposure", MTV's "Spring Break", "Veronica Mars", "Animaniacs", "Double Dare", "Captain Kangaroo", "The Nanny", "Frasier", and a raunchier "America's Funniest Home Videos" with Bob Saget.

 

 

There will also be live action "Lilo & Stitch" and "Rugrats" movies, at least one "Game of Thrones" prequel series, a "Fantasy Island" movie, a "Fast and the Furious" show, a "Goldbergs" spin-off, and a "Star Trek: Discovery" spin-off.

 

 

And at least for now, it looks like we are going to miss out on a "Home Improvement" spin-off with Jonathan Taylor Thomas, an "ALF" revival, and a new "Mad About You".

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

18.  TV Farewells "The Big Bang Theory" announced that this would be its final season, even though it's still a top-ranked show.  And it sounds like it's happening because Jim Parsons didn't want to do it anymore.

 

 

In any event, it isn't the only show coming to an end . . .

 

 

"The Jerry Springer Show" is ending after 26 seasons and almost 4,000 episodes, and now Jerry is going to host a "Judge Judy"-like court show.

 

 

Last summer's "Sharknado 6" will be the last one in the series . . . so Tara Reid and Ian Ziering are free to pursue all their other opportunities.  (???)

 

 

"Orange Is the New Black" will end after its upcoming seventh season.

 

 

NBC also canceled Megyn Kelly's hour of the "Today" show, after her fond recollection of BLACKFACE.  She's still negotiating her exit . . . but she'll probably get around $30 million to walk out the door.

 

 

Speaking of "Today", Kathie Lee Gifford is leaving next April.

 

 

Christina Aguilera also said that she will NEVER return to "The Voice" . . . and Gretchen Carlson stirred up controversywhen she took over the "Miss America" pageant, and nixed the swimsuit competition.

 

 

 

 


 

 

19.  Rock and Roll Retirements and Reunions:  2018 started out as the year that aging rock musicians announced that they were retiring from the road . . . some due to HEALTH ISSUES.

 

 

Here's a rundown:

 

 

Neil Diamond canceled his tour, because he was recently diagnosed with Parkinson's disease . . . Huey Lewis and the Newscanceled all future dates because Huey lost his hearing due to an inner ear disorder.

 

 

Paul Simon announced his retirement from the road after a farewell tour . . .

 

 

Bob Seger announced his final tour dates . . . Lynyrd Skynyrd did one last tour . . .   Elton John announced that he's retiring after one last farewell tour . . . Slayer is on the way out . . . and Ozzy Osbourne announced a farewell tour.

 

 

And Fleetwood Mac fired Lindsey Buckingham, so that ship has sailed.

 

 

Some bands reunited, but they were less interesting.  The Smashing Pumpkins reunited with James Iha, but are still at war with D'Arcy Wretzky . . . the Spice Girls are doing a reunion tour, but without Posh Spice . . . and Hootie & the Blowfish are getting back together, but the '90s aren't coming back.

 

 

Destiny's Child reunited at Coachella, so some of the non-Beyoncé girls got some attention.  And Phil Collins announced his first tour in 11 years, which is really cool, since eight years ago a back injury made it so he couldn't wipe his own butt.

 

 

  

 

 


 

 

20.  Weezer Made Toto's "Africa" Cool Again:  A 14-year-old girl watching "Stranger Things" became obsessed with the classic Toto jam "Africa" . . . as we all did when we first heard it.

 

 

(Hey, it's Christmas, and at Christmas you tell the truth, right?)

 

 

Well, this young lady decided it would be awesome to hear Weezer's take on the song.  So she started a social media campaign, and she actually got Weezer to cover Toto's . . . "Rosanna".

 

 

But they were just trolling.  They ended up recording their own version of "Africa", and even got Weird Al Yankovic to star in the video.  Suddenly, the song was as relevant as ever.

 

 

Toto reciprocated by playing Weezer's "Hash Pipe" in concert . . . then recording an official version.

 

 

Meanwhile, "Africa" just keeps on keeping on.  Pitbull heavily sampled it for a new track he released last week called "Ocean to Ocean", from the "Aquaman" soundtrack.

 

 

 

 

 


 

 

The Honorable Mentions:

 

 

1.  PRINCE HARRY married American actress MEGHAN MARKLE in May.

 

 

 

2.  The California wildfires destroyed the homes of several celebrities, including Gerard Butler, Neil Young, Fred Durst, Robin Thicke, Camille Grammer, and Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth.

 

 

But Liam was able to save all his and Miley's pets, and for that, he was handsomely rewarded.

 

 

 

3.  Julia Louis-Dreyfus completed her chemo, and is now cancer-free.

 

 

 

4.  Disney fired "Guardians of the Galaxy" writer-director James Gunn over some old Tweets that were offensive, but meant as jokes.  He did have the full support of the cast, but Disney isn't caving.  Gunn has since moved to DC, where he's going to write and possibly direct the next "Suicide Squad" movie.

 

 

 

5.  Portia de Rossi gave Ellen DeGeneres an African gorilla sanctuary for her birthday.

 

 

 

6.  Kim Cattrall said some uncomplimentary things about her "Sex and the City" co-stars, especially Sarah Jessica Parker.  But Sarah tried to shake 'em off.

 

 

 

7.  Former UFC women's champ Ronda Rousey signed with the WWE . . . and quickly went on to win the Raw Women's Championship.

 

 

 

8.  Speaking of the WWE, Universal Champion Roman Reigns had to relinquish his title and step away from the company after his leukemia returned.

 

 

 

9.  David Arquette had his neck sliced open in a brutal pro wrestling match.

 

 

 

10.  Kevin Smith suffered a pretty serious heart attack.  But at least it got him to lose weight.

 

 

 

11.  Gretchen Wilson was arrested for causing a disturbance on a flight.  Her lawyers eventually got the charges dropped . . . with the promise that she donate to charity and stay out of trouble for 13 months.

 

 

 

12.  Willie Nelson got Woody Harrelson to start smoking pot again.

 

 

 

13.  Talk about a family feud:  Tommy Lee got knocked out by his son Brandon.  But it looks like they've reconciled.

 

 

 

14.  At the "MTV Movie Awards", Chris Pratt gave a passionate speech with some great advice for the next generation.  And at the "Emmys", one winner used his acceptance speech to propose to his girlfriend.

 

 

 

15.  George Clooney damn-near died in a scooter accident in Italy.  It was another driver's fault, and he blamed the sun.

 

 

 

16.  Jennifer Garner took matters into her own hands and drove Ben Affleck to rehab.

 

 

 

17.  "Avengers: Infinity War" broke the record for the biggest opening weekend EVER, with $250 million.  Then the trailer for the sequel, "Avengers: Endgame", came out and broke records of its own.

 

 

 

18.  Tyler Perry announced that he's retiring the Madea character after one more movie and a farewell stage tour in the New Year.

 

 

 

19.  "Bachelor" Arie Luyendyk Jr. proposed to Becca Kufrin . . . then DUMPED her for runner-up Lauren Burnham.  And ABC's cameras recorded the whole, ridiculously awkward breakup.

 

 

 

20.  WWE boss Vince McMahon announced he's bringing back the XFL to compete with the NFL.

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