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A Topless 81-Year-Old Woman Is Busted Drinking Boxed Wine in a Park


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Here's some bad news and good news.  The bad news:  This woman is going to jail.  The good news:  When she gets out, I'll be there, on one knee, waiting to propose to her.



The cops in St. Petersburg, Florida got a call at 7:40 A.M. on Thursday about something crazy going down in a public park.



There was an 81-year-old woman named Mary Ellen Stewart sitting on a bench . . . fully TOPLESS . . . drinking pink Franzia wine straight from the BOX.



And when the cops approached her, she started trying to spray them with her wine.



She was arrested for disorderly intoxication. 

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